Quarter Life Crisis

Wow. I am 24. I am an adult. When did that happen? And how do I make it stop?

When I was a little girl looking at my future at the age of about 24, I thought that I would be married to a prince and living happily ever after with him and our 10 children. When I was a little older, I thought that I would be playing my flute in the Disney symphony (I will still admit, that idea was the most fun by far). In high school, I thought that I would be graduating from law school at this point and getting a job as an awesome lawyer with a super hot doctor boyfriend.

Fantasies are so much better than reality, right?

No prince, no symphony, no law school. I am still in college working towards my bachelor's degree, working at a movie theatre, living alone, completely single.

I miss being a little girl. Having all of those dreams and knowing that any of them are possible. I could fantasize about where my life would go and who I would become. I could make a smile and possibility out of any situation. Working with kids now has really re-opened doors back up to my past and imagination. I wish that I still had that innocence. I cannot begin to tell you how much I miss it.

Reality isn't that bad though. Neither is getting older. With age comes much wisdom. I am finally finding who I really am as a person. There is no way that I could get to any goal or dream of mine if I did not know who I am. It makes me so glad that I know what I want. I look at things differently now. I take moments in, enjoy the small things in life. I am able to look at situations rationally and from other perspectives.

It is okay that I am still in school. Hell, the fact that I still am in school is a great thing! There are so many people that I know that have not gone to school, and that not would have gone to school if they were in my shoes. I am so proud of myself for continuing forward with this and reaching my goal. I have finally come to terms with the fact that I will be graduating college at the age of 25. Later than what I had planned, but I am still doing it. I will be graduating with a degree that I love and will be able to pursue a career that I will be happy in.

I am completely independent. I have my own apartment. I pay for all of my own bills. I pay for all of my leisure activities. I do all of that by maintaining a full time job. Not a ton of 24 year olds can say that they do that completely independently. That is something to account for.

I may not have reached all of the goals in my life that I had thought I would by this time. I am happy though with how I have dealt with life's curve balls. I never expected for my life to turn out like this. That is something I have learned with age, it never happens how you want. It really is how you deal with life that makes you the person.

I am getting over this quarter life crisis. Happy that I am who I am today. Every moment has lead up to me as a person. I will continue to grow and change. I look forward to it. I am welcoming the age, for it brings wisdom, new experiences, and change.

Here is to my 24th year... hoping it brings happiness.

Where are you Christmas?

Driving home from the hospital visiting Beth's newborn baby boy (Don't worry, a post shall go along with this story line as soon as I get some more pics of the cute little man!). This actually made me think. I really miss the "Christmas season feeling". I have been so consumed with school, work, and other day-to-day stresses that I am having a hard time finding this. I really hope that I can get into the spirit this holiday season because it truly iis the best time of the year.

"Where Are You Christmas"

Where are you Christmas

Why can't I find you

Why have you gone away

Where is the laughter

You used to bring me

Why can't I hear music play

My world is changing

I'm rearranging

Does that mean Christmas changes too

Where are you Christmas

Do you remember

The one you used to know

I'm not the same one

See what the time's done

Is that why you have let me go

Christmas is here

Everywhere, oh

Christmas is here

If you care, oh

If there is love in your heart and your mind

You will feel like Christmas all the time

I feel you Christmas

I know I've found you

You never fade away

The joy of Christmas

Stays here inside us

Fills each and every heart with love

Where are you Christmas

Fill your heart with love