Missing you

Haven't posted in a while. Things have been crazy recently! The semester is finally over. Overall, I am pretty happy with my grades. I raised my GPA and only got one C. Haha. Oh well. I think that next semester will be my best so far. I finally have all education classes and will be doing something that I love. I never have to take a dumb class again!

Christmas was okay. I was slightly disappointed in my day. My little brother Michael came into town. I am sooo glad I got to see him! He is still here for another couple of days. Just sad that I couldn't spend more time with him. Stupid work. Christmas eve we went over to the Brown's. It was nice as always. Then i spent the night at my dads with Michael. Mark ditched us to go to his on and off again girlfriends house. Blah. I was not pleased. it was supposed to be family time and like old tradtions again. And he ruined it. Then my dad didn't have the present he was supposed to give me... money for my ballroom outfits. Of course, it will be a while before the money gets in... i can just never count on him for anything like that. It sucks. I hope that he follows through.. this means a lot to me. So then I got ditched because everyone went golfing and I had to work before they were done. So I went over to the Brown's again and spent the day with Trevor. That was nice :) We layed in bed and watched Christmas movies and sports of course haha.

He has been on my mind a lot recently. I have been spending a lot more time with him. When I am with him, things are just right. I feel soo comfortable and happy. Even when we fight, which isnt very often anymore. It is just nice. I love laying in his arms. It is the best feeling in the world. I have always loved him. I honestly cannot picture spending the rest of my life with anyone but him. Since we started getting close years ago. Yes, I have had other boyfriends, I have even loved someone else during that time. But I always still pictured my life with Trevor at the end. It just wouldn't be right any other way. I just don't know if we will ever be able to get to that point. I hope so. There have been so many tears and laughs with us. So many memories. christmas showed how well we know eachother. i got him an awesome shirt... his favorite style. He loved it. Knew he would :) He got me a cookbook for college students. It was perfect because I have been bugging him for months about how I want to start learning how to cook and how he was going to have to try my cooking. He knows me better than almost anyone (Beth probably beng the only person who knows me more). He left for Texas the day after Christmas and won't be back until the 6 or 7 of January :( Of course, we are always so busy during the semester and never get to see eachother, and during the time we actually have a break, he is gone. I want him to come back soon! I am missing him like crazy. This is ridiculous!

Anyways.... work has been crazy. Everyday long shifts with it being busy. I am physically exhausted and worn out. I wish I was able to have more of a break. I am loving getting more hours and money... but I would love to have a little time to myself to relax.

Well, I think it is time for bed. I am having lunch with my darling tomorrow :) She is basically amazing and i honestly don't know where I would be without her and her support. And I am excited to see her beautiful baby! :)

xoxo

The semester end

This semester is FINALLY coming to an end! This upcoming week is the last week of school. Then just 2 days, 2 finals, 2 papers, a power point, and a presentation til over a month break! I am needing this break! Over the last two weeks, I worked 96 hours and had full time school. I haven't slept much at all!

I feel like so much has happened recently, but really nothing at all.

Thanksgiving this year was awesome. I went over the the Brown's house. It always makes me feel like 'home' when I go there. It is a nice feeling. It brought me back to a couple of years ago. Back to a place I haven't been in a long time. Security. Comfort. They have been so nice to me and my family. It makes me feel really good that people care that much and have such big hearts. I also got to spend time with one of my favorite people of all time... and we know how good that makes me feel... oh man. Old memories. Not sure how I feel about all of that. I just know it feels right.

Today I went to my friend Jenna's wedding. It was beautiful. I have known her since the 4th grade! It is crazy that everyone is getting married! It makes me feel so old! Tonight was like a high school reunion. Seriously. So many people that I haven't seen since graduation.. been almost 5 years! wow! But being at weddings is such a happy feeling. But also bittersweet. It makes me wish I had someone and was at that stage in my life. But, everyone is different. And I will get there when the time is right! But it does make me soo happy for my friends!

My birthday is in a few weeks. 23. Is that posssible? That I am actually that old??! I feel like I keep getting older, but still haven't done anything significant in my life yet. Like I am waiting for it to start. I have been coasting along for the past few years... nothing really changing. I think that once I finish school things will be better. Or at least that is what I am hoping!

On a different note, I have been cooking recently! At least a few things! It makes me excited to have something turn out yummy. I just wish that I had more time to do it! I am excited for the holidays to cook more! I want to try out a bunch of reciepes! Ah I just need to watch calories! I have been really bad with my diet this last month. Just no motivation to go to the gym and so much good food to eat! Holidays are such a bad time for diets! I just can't let myself completely go. Blah. I wish that was easier!

Well, it is getting late. And I need to get some sleep! But it does feel amazing to just lay here in bed and be lazy for once! Especially after being on my feet so much, and about 8 hours in huge heels today! haha

xoxo

Deja Vu

Wow, this is deja-vu! Here I am, sitting in the Coor Computer commons... AGAIN. This is honestly all that I do on Tuesday and Thursday's. Ridiculous I say! I hate having these huge breaks in between classes. I really could work on writing an essay that is due later... but then what will there be to do later this afternoon?!

So I learned a lesson this weekend. It is called, do not drink and have your cell phone! I made numerous drunk calls and texts Saturday night while out for Halloween. Don't get me wrong, awesome night! But I probably said a few things that I shouldn't have! Including calling the guy that I am into at the moment and making an ass out of myself. Hopefully that didn't completely ruin it...

So I am meeting with an advisor later this afternoon to finalize my classes for next semester. I broke it down and will hopefully only have class on Tuesday and Thursday. That would be amazing for sooo many different reasons! Saving money in gas, being able to open at work so I am not there super late with class the next morning, and more free time. I will be taking all education classes this next semester which will also be nice. I am sooo ready to be done!

I miss dancing. I feel like I haven't been doing it as much as I was. I am not enjoying class anymore. I don't have a partner in the class so I end up having to sit out for a lot of it which just ends up being a waste of my time. I want to go out and do performances and competitions. I miss that aspect. And am seriously looking forward to the costumes my dad is buying me for Christmas! I will finally have professional ballroom outfits! yay! I already picked out the ones that I want.

I just need to get back on my diet track. The last month has been BAD for me. I have had little motivation. And honestly, I think that a lot of it has to do with the fact that I am utterly exhausted all of the time. I should be going to the gym, but in the little free time that I have, I want to sleep. I barely get any of it and need it for my sanity. This semester is really catching up with me. I think that I have just been so used to being on the go all the time that it seems normal, but it really isn't. Having a high demand full time job, plus trying to do well in full time school is exhausting in itself. Add in dancing, friends, dating, and everyone's wedding this semester and you can see the recipe for my loss of sanity. I NEED winter break to get here.

Winter break is going to be amazing. New Moon comes out... yes, I am one of those people. Then I get to go to my work Christmas party...being waiting to go since I started! haha. I also get a big bonus for that, plus a Christmas bonus, plus my tuition re-embursement! yay! Then I have my birthday... doubt I will be doing anything exciting.. I mean, what is exciting about 23 anyway... wow I am OLD. And then Christmas.. :) I hope Michael is able to come out. I miss him.

Oh goodness... Well I should get off to my advising appointment so I can get all of this cleared up.

I Need You

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eB7T3lJ3dZ4&feature=fvw

Picture perfect memories,
Scattered all around the floor.
Reaching for the phone cause, I can’t fight it any more.
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind.
For me it happens all the time.
It’s a quarter after one, I’m all alone and I need you now.
Said I wouldn’t call but I lost all control and I need you now.
And I don’t know how I can do without, I just need you now.
Another shot of whiskey, can’t stop looking at the door.
Wishing you’d come sweeping in the way you did before.
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind.
For me it happens all the time.
It’s a quarter after one, I’m a little drunk,
And I need you now.
Said I wouldn’t call but I lost all control and I need you now.
And I don’t know how I can do without, I just need you now.
Yes I’d rather hurt than feel nothing at all.
It’s a quarter after one, I’m all alone and I need you now.
And I said I wouldn’t call but I’m a little drunk and I need you now.
And I don’t know how I can do without, I just need you now.
I just need you now.
Oh baby I need you now.

A Clusterfuck of Emotion

Usually after a shower I feel better. I stand there and let all of my bad feelings rinse off my and circle down the drain. I use that time to think about what is bothering me and I usuallly feel better. Not the case today.

I recently got in a fight with a close friend. I got a very disturbing message from that person today. It really hurt to read the things that they wrote to me. I am in awe that they would even think those things and I don't even know where or how to begin to respond. I have been playing through my mind exactly what I would want to say, and I just see blank.

Over the past couple of years I have learned that you cannot take things or people for granted. I try to live everyday to the fullest. I do not want any more regrets. Life is too short to dwell upon the useless. If someone does not want to be there for me, or have my best interest in mind, then screw them. I have too many friends in my life that ARE there for me. Now, there are a select few that I would do pretty much anything to keep them, I believe that they are worth the fight. This friend is one of them. But I just don't know how much more I can handle. I need to sit on this for a few days before I make any emotional decisions that I will regret later.

Lately I have been having a lot of nightmares. I don't usually tend to remember my dreams, so this is very weird. None of them are related. They do not make sense to me either. But I wake up in a sweat and very nervous. Someone at work brought in a book about dreams, and the things they said about what i was dreaming about was extremely scary. I really hope this is not me foreshadowing anything happening in my life...

I was at my Dad's for dinner on Friday night. I was looking through old boxes trying to find a few things that I needed and came across my Mom's old journal. It is called the "Nothing/Something Book". It takes place from 1978-1981. It is a collection of poems and thoughts that she found inspiring to her or things happening in her life. During this time she is just a couple years older than I am now. I want to share a couple of things that she wrote in here:

Home Sick-

I hate saying goodbye
And scenes that make some cry
i don't like leaving
Seems I'm running away,
When realy I'd rather say
looking forward
to tomorrow's sun
And another day
to spend in the safeness
of your arms
Where I can gather strength
Safe in your arms
Where it feels like home,
and
I'm needed
Everyone knows
That running away from home
Might be the right
Thing to do
At that time
Knowing,
that one day you'll return
With less time
Left,
Such a waste,
Such a shame,
Such a world,
Such a game,
We force eachother
To play.

Things We Keep-

The memory of a love long ago
is lik ethe old gray sweater with
holes that I keep telling myself
I'll throw away,
Someday,
not today,
I still neeed it.

I Told Myself-

I told myself it was insane to weep; he'd gone and that was how it had to be, and I was mad if I lost any sleep over a man who'd lose none over me. It's strange how an obsession can take hold. How one remains cocooned withing the dream in spite of all attempts to break the mod and find again some scrap of self-esteem. I wish that there might somehow be a way that we could meet again by accident. one day we id. What more is there to say? I looked, I saw: I was indifferent. I've long know unrequited love's a curse, but ow I know that not to love is worse.

By Shelley (my mom)

When a friendship is new
it needs a smile
it needs a chance to talk awhile
It needs a sympathetic ear
and a voice that's rather nice to hear
But an older friendship
one that's grown
takes on ways
that are all it's own
When friends know each other ver well
They really don't need words to tell
how much they care
and understand
How quicly they'll lend
a helping hand
They learn the meaning
of smiles and frowns
And share each others
ups and downs
We've shared a friendship
You and I
deeper and truer
as time goes by
and we know each
so well by now
sometimes we even
share thoughts somehow
and I consider few hings
as rare
as teh warmth of the friendship
you and I share




There are so many more in here. I think my mom was in love when she wrote this. Most of these are about love and happiness. It makes me happy that she was in love and had those feelings. i hope that I am able to get that one day. I will share more of those later.

I am sitting here teary eyed reading these. I have been thinking about my mom a ton. I think about her everyday no matter what; but recently, it has been often throughout the day. I find the urge to call her all the time to tell her about something that has happened in my life, a question about something, just to say I love you... Then I find myself sad and dissapointed when I can't.

I warned you before starting this... i am having a clusterfuck of emotions.

I need to write in here again when I am in a better mood to talk about all of the festivities from Amanda's bachelorette party from this weekend. But I am definitely not in a place to talk about that now.

I am going to try to get some sleep...hopefully pleasant dreams tonight, and will wake up feeling better.

xoxo

Thoughts from the Coor Computer Commons

I am sitting here on my second long break during my 15 hours at campus day. It is driving me crazy. I have completed all homework that is due for the entire week. Plus, Ryan still has my ipod in his quest to fix its mysterious problems so I have nothing to listen to besides the rustling of papers and typing at the 400 other computers in the room.

I feel like I should be doing something productive! Sleeping would be nice... but alas, I live a good 30 min away; not including my 30min walk to my car that is a mile off campus right now. Yes, it cost me $280 to park a mile away from campus. Ridiculous? I think so. So I am stuck. Sitting in this room, half windows, half cement. Not homey at all. Kind of a creepy vibe actually. Very futuristic for those of you who know what the Coor building looks like. It represent the "school of the future" that Michael Crow so badly wants us to be... No one will be able to afford to go here though if the tuition keeps rising the way that it has been...

I have a meeting with an advisor at the college of education on Thursday. So I can finally get everything switched around! I am soo ready to start the career that I want! I am sick of being stuck in these meaningless class with the upcoming freshman. I want to graduate and go back to elementary school! :) haha.

I have been feeling extremely motivated recently. In all areas of my life really. I am making improvements to myself.

Dieting/Working out:

I met with a personal trainer yesterday. I guess that I was not eating enough calories for the amount of activity that I have been doing! Crazy, right? So he is upping my calorie intake to 1200 a day. I was at about 800. We are also going over work out plans for me so I can climb over this plateau that I have reached. He said that I should be losing at least 2 pounds a week with the plan he is putting me on! I am excited to do this! I have already seen progress and that makes me feel good and gives me even more motivation to continue working so hard.

School:

As I was saying before, I am ready to graduate. I have been putting forth all of my efforts into my schoolwork. Completing things early, going the extra mile, doing whatever it takes to get that A. I want to prove to myself again that I am an intellegent person and am in college for a reason. I used to do well in high school. And I haven't felt smart since! Seeing most of my friends start their careers and grow up is helping me want to get there as well. I am almost 23 years old. As much as I wish I was still a child, I am not. It is time that I start a career. Not saying that my job right now isn't the best job in the world....ahem...but it is not what I want to do with the rest of my life. I am hoping to be able to cram all of my last school semesters in as little as possible. Which, unfortunately, means even less of a social life than what I already have going for me as well. Sorry friends.

Work:

I am trying to be more positive at work. I feel like I haven't been. I have just been going there and getting what is needed done. But, I figure, if I put all of this time and energy into it, then I should at least try harder. Things aren't always as negative as they seem.

Organization Skills:

As you many of you may know, I am a little messy. I have really been working on keeping things oraganized in my life. It makes things less stressful. Now, not saying my room is spectacular, far from it actually, but there have been definite improvements.

Anyways... Just a few of the self improvement that I am working towards. I want to be a better person overall. Help my self confidence and esteem. And hopefully will take me farther in life.

So we had Amanda's bridal shower on Saturday. It was beautiful! It actually makes everything seem so real! She is getting married in 6 weeks! I am looking forward to the wedding and the bachelorette party! I am so happy that she asked me to be a bridesmaid and that I get to share this exciting time in her life. It makes me feel good that I have so many good friends :)

Oh, I almost forgot! As inspired by watching Julie and Julia the other day with my darling and her little sister, I am really wanting to cook! My roommate and I are going to go through a cook book and try some new reciepes. Hopefully we find something that we like and don't burn down the kitchen! Maybe first I should try some beef bouggee? haha...

Well, it is about the time that I start getting ready to head to my next class. And then dancing for 4 hours... It is a long day! But I am feeling good about the new adventures in life and the road that is getting me there!

xoxo

Last week of summer

Wishing I was here.... (Ignore how huge I look in this photo though.. wow. I have lost a lot of weight since then, thank God!)

So school starts a week from today, er, yesterday. Tomorrow is my last day off of work before school starts. I have tons to do! I am going back to school shopping with my little brother. I don't have a lot of money to spend, but I need to get some notebooks, a new purse to carry a ton of books, and a couple new clothes.

A billion and a half dollars later, I have all of my books and parking permit. I am glad to have it done with though. This is the first time that I actually ordered by books ahead of time and my parking permit online. I would recommend it. It was way convinient. And I dont have to deal with the crowds at the bookstore or worrying that I won't get my books.

Well, I just got an email stating that my sign language class was cancelled. FML. So I had to sign up for a different one. Of course, the only available one is in the morning. I was so proud of myself for having no morning classes! It was going to be such a good semester! And of course, this class is 4 days a week. Blah. But I have to take it to fulfil a requirement.

Sooo... my schedule is now....

Monday-

940-1030 Sign Language

Tuesday-

940-1030 Sign Language

130-245 Western Civilization

430-545 English

830-10 Dance

Wednesday-

940-1030 Sign Language

Thursday-

940-1030 Sign Language

130-245 Western Civilization

430-545 English

830-10 Dance

I hate that I have such huge breaks between classes. I have one online class that I can work on during that time and homework. But I was hoping to have more time to go to the gym. Guess I will be going to the SRC a lot. I just hate having to carry around a change of clothes.

And of course my availability for work this semester is-

Fri- open-8pm (my boss shit himself...oh well!)

Sat- open-close

Sun- open-close

Mon- 5pm-close

Tue- OFF

Wed- 5pm-close

Thurs- OFF

So... looking like I wont have much of a social life starting next Monday. It is going to suck. It will be busy! Especially with Amandas wedding and all of the events that go with that! And practicing for dance. Lots of events coming up! And I really want to improve on everything!

On a quick different note; I cleaned today. I needed to do it for a while but have been busy! And when I have been home, I am tired and want to relax. I still have one more load of laundry to do, but that will be done tomorrow. I deep cleaned everything. Including the bathroom.. that I share with my male roommate...ewwww. Let me tell you. But I feel good that it is done!

Anyways, I am ready to sleep! It has been a long long day!

xoxo

People don't realize this but loneliness is underrated

I feel completely bummed out.

I always do this to myself. I get really excited about something, and of course have high expectations. And then I get let down. I really do it to myself. And I try not to, but it always ends up happening.

I am really looking for a relationship. Of course, I love the single life. But I am kinda over it. I like having someone there for me like that. Someone to invite out with my friends. So I am not always the extra person. Someone I can call if I am feeling down to make me smile. I just miss being in a relationship.

I am getting older. I know, I know. I am still extremely young. But, I want to date someone for a while, have a decent engagement, and then be married for a while before I have kids. And I don't want to be an older parent. Like before I am 30!

Ah I am thinking about this way too much. I think that it is just hard when all of my close friends are in serious relationships or married or engaged. It is all around me all the time. It is hard to escape it.

I really should get to sleep. I am seriously bummed out about this right now. And I shouldnt rant. Especially about something like that. It will happen when it happens. And probably when i am least expecting it. I believe in fate. In chance. In coincidence.

Frustrated.

I am having a frustrated night.

I guess that I am just feeling upset. Not sure why. I almost feel angry. I hate it when I get like this. I am just shaking.

Whenver I feel like this, I always miss certain people in my life that have hurt me. This is a bad cycle. I almost miss Jake right now... so dumb. Because I hate him so much. I guess I just miss the good times. I hate that I always remember the good times when I am feeling upset. The bad things that happened just fade. It is so annoying. Ugh. I am done talking about this. It is bad for my mental health.

On a completely different note...

I dislocated my shoulder. I guess that it happened Friday night. It started to hurt. I thought that I just pulled a muscle. But the next day it started to hurt even more. But then that night it started hurting even more. So I asked my friend at work to take a look at it. She touched my shoulder and saw that it was dislocated. The bone was portruding out of my back. It hurt sooooo soooo sooo bad! I got sick after it got pushed back into place. And then got sent home from work early and that never ever happens. I went home and took pain killers and then put a heating pad on it. That made it feel a lot better. Today I am doing much better. It is still sore, but nothing like it was.


So on Tuesday I have to dress up in suspenders and a bow tie for work. We lost a contest and I was chosen to be one of the managers to do it. Not sure if it is a good or a bad thing. The entire floor staff voted for me. Hmm... Then on Saturday I am going to be working an actual register. That should be interesting.

Well I am thinking that I should get some sleep. I need to sleep this feeling that I am having out. I hope it will make me feel better.

Late night thoughts

I started my diet last week. I have been doing really well so far! I basically started out the week with only having 580 calories per day. Now let me tell you, with working out and having a job where I stand on my feet for 9 hours straight, that is NOT enough to eat! I was feeling really hungry and super sick. So I upped the amount of calories per day. It is nice to have my roommate doing the diet with me. That way we don't have bad food at the house. The only time that it is hard is when I am at work. Everyone there eats so awful! And it is tempting to have a piece of pizza! but, I am going to stay strong! My diet consists of this basic outline:

Breakfast- slimfast or oatmeal

Snack- a fruit.

Lunch- Turkey sandwich. wheat bread. light mayo

Snack- 100 calorie pack or some pretzels

Dinner- a chicken breast and a serving of vegetables.

Snack (if I close at work)- sugar free jello

Also, 2 liters of water, fish oil pill, and a multi vitamin

Been working well so far! I haven't had time to go to the gym the last couple of days. I have been working like crazy and haven't had time! But, I had an intense weekend of a lot of dancing and hiking in payson. Plus, at work, i am standing and walking around the whole time. So it is not like I am sitting down a lot.


On a completely different subject, I saw Harry Potter last night. Fantastic! I loved loved it! My favorite one so far! I want to see it again! Now, as much as I liked the movie, that is how much I hate the customers. Some people are just ridiculous! We had people camping out at 9pm the night before the midnight! Like wow. Tonight I worked guest services for the midnight showing. I got cussed out by numerous people. It is just a movie! Yes, we had to have lines. That is what happens when there is over 2300 people that come to one showing! We have to have a system. And honestly, it worked well! Much better than it could have gone! So get over it! ah! Okay, enough about that!

Again, another random tangent.... But it is after 2am so it's okay!

I wish that I had a summer romance this summer. Last summer I was head over heels in love. It was amazing. I had all the time in the world, and spent it with the person I wanted to be with. Right now I have the time and no one to spend it with. There are so many beautiful nights in Arizona that I would love to just be laying out under the stars with someone. Cliche cheesey? yes. Oh well. but not only that, but just fun things to do! Baseball games, movies, dates, concerts, hiking, falling asleep with someone. Just all of the fun things I would love to share with someone. Yes, I love my friends and spending time with them. But it isn't the same as with someone you are in love with.

Recently, I have spent more time with an old flame. It brings back old feelings when I see him. But he was so wrong for me in so many ways. I hate that whenever I see him, he will be amazing, everything that I miss. But then, the time after that, he goes back to the person that brought me so much pain. I don't know why I allow him back into my life so many times. He just does something to me that I cannot describe. I wish that I could just end it. But, I am weak. All of my friends despise him, for good reason, but I wish that they could just understand how insane I am. Haha. I think that with him, it just rings back old memories of comfort. Someone being there for me through a lot of things. I cling to that feeling. I have had so many changes to my life, and he is a constant. Being in his arms made me feel safe. I miss that feeling.

But for myself, I can't get upset over this. I have grown up. And will not play little games anymore. I can't allow myself to get hurt again. But, knowing me, I have to learn my lessons first hand.

Well, it is getting very very late. And I should get sleep. I have to work again tomorrow. joy.

I need to update this more...

xoxo

Customers

Customers... pretty much the word is enough said. I guess the ones that make the me the most upset are the ones that just expect free things. Or they think of any possible way to get something for free.

I had a customer last night say that he gave our cashier a 2o dollar bill but she said that he gave her a 5. So I got called over there to check it out. I counted down the drawer and she was even, which meant that it was a 5 dollar bill. He then proceeded to yell at me and say that he was not going to leave until I gave him his money. So I then went upstairs and checked the cameras. It was a 5 dollar bill. The customer wanted to see the footage! That is not allowed. I was like really, why would I lie?? Not like I am going to take your few dollars. Get over it. So I ended up giving him 2 free movie passes.

Okay, so it is not like it is my personal movie passes or anything. But I just find it really annoying to give customers free things when they dont deserve it! I totally don't mind giving them something if there is a legitimat concern. But besides that I have to suck it up and give it to them. The most common one is, "people were talking during the movie". I ask, did you tell anyone? "no." Well WTF?? It is not like we are in there watching the movie with you. We cannot control how other people act, nor can we do anything about the problem if we are not told. Also, people say that they didnt like the movie so they want a pass for it. People, sorry to tell you, but the theatre does not make the movie. We just show it. If you dont like the movie, then call the studio. Dumb!

Tonight I worked wing. Which was pretty much crowd control. We sold out of every showing of Transformers. I dealt with so many customers my head hurts! Some people just are ridiculous. They believe that the rules appy to everyone but them. They think that they should all get the best seats in the house, even if they come right as the movie is starting. i even had one guy say that I should make someone move so that he could sit up in the top section cause he doesnt like the front row hahahaha. Seriously? It is opening weekend of the biggest movie of the summer. If you dont like crowds, then dont come. And if you are really that dumb to not realize how busy it is and that you should get there early, then you deserve to sit in the front row and get a neck cramp.

Just saying.

But, the customer is always right. No matter how ridiculous they may be...

My Very First Blog :)

So after much debate on whether or not I should make my own blog, here I am! I am hoping to use this blog to document different things that are happening in my life. That way I can look back on this later and see just how far I have come! And of course, for any friends that decide to read this, they can be updated on my life as well!

Oh where to begin... my life at this moment. I am just finishing up summer school at ASU. It is amazing to be back. I have had a lot of things happen in my life that has caused me to miss out on this past year of school at ASU. But hey, life happens. You make the most out of every situation. It was really hard to not graduate with my friends this past spring, but I am okay. I will graduate eventually and I will be extremely proud of myself when I do! Anyways, I am most likely going to be getting an A in both of my classes! It has been a really hard month! School Mon-Fri all day, and working full time! After this I will actually get to have about a month of summer! I will be laying out, relaxing, spending time with friends, oh...and working. haha.

I feel extremely lame recently. Honestly, all I do is work and go to school! Nothing too exciting. I have been in a rut recently. Some very unfortunate things have happened in my life over the past couple of years. But instead of wallowing in self pity over them, I am moving foward. My life was in much need of a change, and i am making it now! I am focusing on self improvement. In all aspects. I have been watching what I eat and joined a gym. I really want to get in shape, not only for how I look and feel, but it will help my dancing tremeandously as well. I am also focusing on my school work. I need to get good grades and have been taking a lot of classes so that I can graduate in less than 2 years. Also, I am in no position a the moment to have a relationship. My last serious relationship hurt me more than I could have ever imagined. It blindsighted me. And i am still recovering from that. It will take me a long time to trust someone again. But I am not going to go looking for someone. When it happens, it will happen. I need to be happy and content with myself and my life before I share it with someone else as well.

So that is pretty much a very brief sum up of what has happened recently!

My little brother, Michael, was in town for two weeks. He just left. I miss him a lot :( He had to move to Chicago after my mom passed away. I don't get to see him very much. I wish that I could. But it is best for him to live out there. It is a better living environment, much more stable. But it still hurts that i don't get to see him as often as I would like.

Well it is getting very late and I need to be up very early tomorrow for school. And then work tomorrow. I will definitely be posting on here! Hopefully have more interesting stories to write about!

xoxo